Is Fidelity an African Principle? Bimbo Akintola Doesn’t Think So

 

Is Fidelity an African Principle? Bimbo Akintola Doesn’t Think So

When celebrated Nollywood actress Bimbo Akintola joined Gloria Young on her popular podcast, she held nothing back—instead offering blunt, unsettling truths about faithfulness in African culture.

She questioned the very notion of fidelity in Africa, pointing out how polygamy and normalized infidelity have historical roots on the continent. “If your father or grandfather had multiple wives, maybe you should manage your own relationships that way," she said. She added that many of the men she knows—her own father included—cheated, so in her view, fidelity hardly feels like a traditional expectation.

Cheating as Culture and Inheritance

Akintola’s remarks hit deeper than individual behavior—they trace back to collective memory. Precolonial African societies often allowed, even expected, men to have multiple wives. Marriage was not purely emotional—it was political, familial, and strategic. In that context, monogamy felt foreign. Even after colonial rule and Christian influence introduced monogamy as the social ideal, many men continued to practice polygamy—sometimes covertly—rendering fidelity a luxury, not a norm.

She also highlighted how infidelity becomes generationally ingrained. Children might grow up in homes where fathers stray without consequences, learning that such behavior is part of the male identity. For many women, the advice becomes enduring the betrayal—not fixing it.

Myth or Biological Fate?

Akintola pushes back against the claim that men are inherently unfaithful. When she suggests that a vast majority of men cheat, she shines a light on societal complicity. Rather than responding with surprise, many women are instructed to overlook infidelity—for the sake of family, reputation, or religious ideals.

This narrative reinforces harmful double standards. Men are often excused for cheating behavior, while women who step out are punished harshly—ostracism, divorce, or worse. This imbalance is part of what makes monogamy feel unattainable.

Choosing Fidelity as Rebellion

Rather than accept cultural inevitability, Akintola urges a different path. Fidelity should be framed not as romance, but as discipline, respect, and partnership. Cheating may be widespread, but it is not universal. Faithful men and women do exist.

By framing infidelity as culture, we risk normalizing dysfunction. Instead, fidelity can—and should—be a deliberate act of integrity, not an outdated myth to be dismissed.